I happen to know for a fact now that guys like dirty phone messages left by girls they never met.
So, here's the story. My friend Stacey and I are cruising in her car and we just left this place called The Drafting Room. GREAT beer specials. The waitstaff love me and make me feel special by charging me for like 2 beers and getting me plastered. They said it's cause they think I'm funny; I think it's cause they know my tendency to flash when I'm bombed. Moving right along...Stacey starts dialing her phone and says, "Here leave a message for my friend, Greg." So I take her up on her offer, and if I know Stacey well, it was a way of getting me to help her stalk her ex. I decide I would leave a dirty message for "Greg" and that way he will call me back and like me more than her. Yes, I AM a bitch and I have brains too. That means I get what I want. What I wanted at the moment was Greg. Here is how I baited him:
Greg's Voice Mail: "Blah blah... leave a message..."
Jenna in her cutest voice ever: "Hey Brad, it's me Jenna...I'm at home and on my bed completely naked like you asked. I have been trying to think of what I wanted to say to you tonight all day, even when I was at work. Seriously, I was so hot thinking about you, I had to ditch my panties in the bathroom trash can. But what I really want to tell you is that I want your cock - in my mouth - right now. I want to suck you till you shake all over, within an inch of your life and explode - I want you to cum in my mouth. I want to have your taste in my mouth. Call me the minute you get this. 610-555-1212. Bye Baby, see you soon."
Now, what makes me extra evil is this: I left the wrong name on purpose. I NEW Greg would call and I KNEW I needed and excuse for the message. That way I look like a dirty slut AND I'm fresh meat; something NO man can resist. Greg calls the next day at 11:30 am.
Jenna's voice mail: This is Jenna, leave a message!
Greg: "Hi, Jenna ummm this is Greg. I got your message last night, nice message by the way, yeah, give me a call later. I would really like to meet you. Bye."
I told him I was leaving a message for Brad my ex, Brad thinks I have a problem getting in touch with my inner kink. He gave me strict orders to get in my bed, strip down naked and think about him and what I want. I did as he said basically because he was right. I am SO sorry for that message, I am SO embarassed... blah blah blah.
Greg gave me AWESOME phone sex three nights later and I haven't called him since. No, I don't plan on calling him. I'd rather leave Greg as the greatest relationship I've ever had.
5:29 PM - Friday, May. 28, 2004
Recent entries:
wertw ertwert - Thursday, Jul. 10, 2008
some ditty - Thursday, Mar. 08, 2007
sippy sippy - Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007
yah yah - Saturday, Feb. 17, 2007
woo woowww - Monday, Feb. 12, 2007
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
juddhole
porktornado
albannach
lauralgood
lukeduke
hotcarl
joecartoon
jorod74
pirategirl
bingoguy
chaostraffic
warcrygirl
plopphizz
drbigbeef
chadly7
rickscafe
thedailywtf
incredipete
mousemilk
meanmommy
xquzme
vickithecute
gumphood
freefall74
wombatcity
yeahimadork
themark
bvror
edgarfrog
clarity25
nightmare54
reynedecoupe