Well, I have been out sick from work and have not been able to visit my beloved Diaryland and all the people here whom I have become quite addicted to. (Give yourselves a naked smooch from me) Anyway, I'm beginning to think that my body sabotaged myself by getting sick only so I can hear all my buddies say thing like "Awww, you feel better, sweetie?" or "We missed you, it was too quiet without you here." Serious. I loved being at home with nothing better to do than watch Jerry Springer and the 25 gah-billion variations of People's Court. But I love coming back to work and see what happened while I was gone.
One thing in particiular did happen. My dear friend Danielle (who recently got engaged - WOO HOO. Hook 'em in GirlFriend! Make him yours mwah aha haaaha ahhahahahaaaaaaa!!!!) left me a newspaper clipping about my favorite TV show, Smallville.
Stop Laughing
Fuck You
I am in love with Lex Luthor.
Stop Laughing
Bite ME
Anyway! In honor of my darling crush on Lex, here is a special top ten:
9.26.2003 - Top Ten Bald Guys Pickup Lines
10. "You're beautiful, and that's not just the Rogaine talking"
9. "I will shower you with gifts with the money I save not buying shampoo"
8. "Would you like to run your fingers through my head?"
7. "Your eyes are sparkling -- or maybe that's just the glare off my head"
6. "Yeah, that's right, I'm TV's Paul Shaffer"
5. "I don't have any paper, but you can write your phone number on my forehead"
4. "Close your eyes and pretend I'm Dick Cheney"
3. "Wanna go back to my place and see my hairpiece?"
2. "There are two things missing from my life: healthy hair follicle growth and you"
1. "Wanna buff me?"
Yes, yes I do want to buff you ;)
12:26 PM - Wednesday, Jul. 14, 2004
Recent entries:
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