I am feeling inspired to mention the things that are missing in my life:
-A steady source of happiness/excitement coming from the opposite sex
-A car
-A dog
That's it. I'm just a lonely gal on a train.
You'll usually find me with a nose brushing the inside of my favorite puzzle book. I giggle at people who make funny noises and scowl at people who don't say 'bless you' when I sneeze. I always want the window seat. Not just any window seat. The one with the biggest view. That's my seating goal every morining on my commute to work and every afternoon returning back home. I'm the girl waiting for someone who isn't afraid to strike up a conversation.
I imagine I'm sitting quietly in my window seat, elbow resting on the window lip, palm holding my tired head. My eyes are fixed on the passing scenes. The railroad tracks and I have an immediate connection. They are vast and powerful and get you from point A to point B - but they are very open and lonely.
All along the sides of the tracks I see abandonned cars, refrigerators, toys, tires, bikes, trash, neglected grounds and vacant construction sites. The train's stainless steel gleams over and through all of this. I desire a connection with the train. I want to overcome and shine through the sadness. I think to myself that today will not be that day.
I look to my left and see a man taking the seat next to me. We share some eye contact and I slightly raise the right corner of my mouth in hello as a sign that I don't think he looks threatening. He speaks.
We don't have a deep conversation. We don't give out personal information. But we chatter like two people with so much to say and so much relief we get to say it. You'd think it were painful for us to not talk for this long.
We mention where we work, how long we've been working there and so on, but mostly we talk about the city and all the things we love about the suburbs. Immediately we understand how much we have in common.
He makes me laugh when he mentions how much he hates cab drivers. It makes me wonder what his lips feel like on my neck. Without fail, I think of sex whenever a guy makes me laugh.
And he is attractive. His eyes are attentive and make me nervous when they look at my mouth.
I love that. I love feeling nervous.
But I am in control.
I ask him what station stop is his and he says his is the same as mine.
Plans for dinner?
No.
"Then you're taking me." *Jenna shoots killer-grin*
It's settled. We move to local watering hole and gab more.
The bar is busy. We decide to stand at the bar and order drinks while we wait for a table. We have become more comfortable with each other and he touches the small of my back when he asks what I want to drink.
My cheeks get full and red. His hands feel great. I want them everywhere.
To be continued...
10:16 AM - Wednesday, Jul. 21, 2004
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