You have NO idea how much it is a struggle for me to shrug off stupidity.
I'm not talking about the small moments of ditsy-ness we all experience, (yes, even you Pete) I am talking about the things I hear at work that make me look to the heavens and chuckle to the Lord, "I have heard it all." Then I chuckle to myself because I can hear him say, "You should be in my shoes for a day. THEN you'll hear it all, Jenna."
Good point, God. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna make fun of these less-than-nimble-in-mind folks!!! No sir-eee.
Subject number one: The pinhead man.
Yesterday I had a conversation with a man who said he couldn't get his card to work. Firstly, I HATE it when people start their conversations under this broad of a scope. It means I have to pull teeth because they can't "use their words". Grrrrrr. (that's the bad grrrrrr, not the good grrrrr. Good grrrr is spelled rarrr!) Anyway. After finally deducing what exactly "didn't WORK" meant, I explained to the fellah that he was entering the wrong pin number.
"Well, I just got this-here card and I don't know what the pin number is."
Oh for crying out loud...
"Sir, in order for you to have that card, you had to had filled out an application for the card. There is no possible way at all for a card to be sent to you under any other circumstances. *pause to hope they understand the words coming out of my mouth* At the bottom of that application, you wrote a four digit pin number."
"Well there is only ONE pin number I use and it didn't work. I need to check the pin number on my card."
"There is a security feature on your card that protects your pin. We do not have record of your pin because it is the only sure way no one could gain access to your pin through the bank - because we don't even have it."
"Well I need to know what it IS!"
"Sir if I had a way for you to get your pin, I would be more than happy to give it to you. Unfortunately, I have no way of finding the pin number you picked. *stresses the word YOU in brain* Now, the only option for you is to destroy that card, fill out a new application, and make a note somewhere of the pin you picked."
Guffing and gawing ensues...
"I wish someone would have TOLD me this was going to happen!!" *click*
HUH?? He wished someone would have TOLD him that when HE picks a PIN number, it should be a number he can fucking remember!!
Are you fucking kidding me???
Am I one of the CHOSEN few who get to UNDERSTAND what the use of a PIN number is!?
Subject number two: Walks with paranoia
I had the pleasure *cough* of talking to a woman yesterday who did a transfer of funds over the automated phone system. She wanted to give me a call and make sure her checking account number wasn't going to show up on her phone bill.
. . .
I'm gonna let that one go. You just sit there and let it marinade in your head but don't let it own you.
Subject number three: The clear washer.
Oh how do I capture this conversation and do this woman justice? How, oh how... I answered the phone one day and the woman on the other end of the line tells me she wanted to know the balance of her account. Sounds harmless enough right?? Ha ha! Right. Let's just say it took at LEAST ten minutes for me to figure out that this woman had BOTH a checking account and a home equity loan. (please tell me we all know what that is...) The "account" she wanted the balance for was her home equity.
"I never used the account and wanted to pay it off. Why isn't there enough money to cover it? I thought it would be a 'clear wash'..."
Did anyone else understand THAT!?
*grumble*
I come to find out that 3 years ago this woman opened a home equity LOAN for 35,000 "in case" she needed the funds for a new car purchase. She also opened a checking account in which the 35,000 was deposited. NOW. That same checking account was ALSO the account from which her automatic payments were withdrawn to pay her monthly home equity payments. (see it coming yet??)
She thought she was borrowing 35,000 and paying back 35,000.
As in, she thought she had a ZERO interest home equity loan.
THEN I had to explain to her what interest WAS.
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I was on the phone with this woman for a little over 45 minutse. THAT's a long time to be on the phone with someone with whom you wished you had never met.
Please say something to make me smile, okay??
10:40 AM - Saturday, Apr. 30, 2005
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