Okay, interview questions. Okay, so they aren't all questions:
1. You've heard of speed dating (moving every 30 seconds to talk to a new single); describe Speed Humping.
First of all it does not take place at the local pub or bar like speed dating does. Speed humping is set in a secluded grassy field completely blanketed by blue and green tarps. (The hotter the weather, the better - speed humping is NOT for pansies. Sorry Andy.) Anyway, a large bandstand is erected *snicker* with a huge firkin stop clock to keep time. The only thing speed humping has in common with speed dating, is the rotation *snicker* of partners in a certain time limit. See, speed dating has an outcome of two people getting together after finding that certain spark, where speed humping is a race to see who can contract as many communicable diseases as possible, in under an hour. I told you - NOT for pansies.
2. You've just been signed up for a reality TV show of your life. Tell us what we can expect to see in the first episode.
I really want to be the TV showgirl *snicker* that starts out as a train wreck and becomes a beautiful and unique butterfly in the end. To prepare for my train-wreck status, I plan to get 25ccs of collagen pumped into my upper lip. I'll don many coats of super slick lip-gloss and call everyone around me "honey". THEN I'll buy the smallest dog in the world and shave off all of its hair and give it an anchor (fake) tattoo on its creepy, bony back. Even though all of this sounds very "Hollywood" I will not be dressed in sequins and furs. I'll be wearing either a robe, a frilly apron (sans all other clothes) or a sandwich board (again. sans all other garments.) I figure this is the only way the American public can appreciate how utterly boring my life is in reality. They'll be all like, "Well at least she lost the lip gloss and started wearing turtleneck sweaters..." I'll do exclusive interviews with Oprah and WarCryGirl (after I pull a few strings to get her, her own smutty talk show.) where we'll talk about my struggle with overcoming the fact that I used to be an asshole. THAT's money baby.
3. If you got an hour to spend with John Lennon what would you talk about?
The current state of the world and what he wanted me to do on his behalf.
4. What one thing about yourself would you like to change? What one thing about you is just so fucking perfect that everyone should have that attribute?
I'd like to change the fact that I actually have nothing I'd like to change about myself. (go on and think about that one...) I would love to bless the world with a pair of my breasts. Even I like playing with them and the way they look in low cut tops. The women would have their own set and the men would have the women's to play with. (No I wouldn't endow the men with boobs... I'm not THAT mean. Unless they WANTED boobies.) There you have it.
The answer to World Peace!
Jenna's boobs.
Problem solved.
5. Your computer just crashed (knock wood) and you can't get to any other access. You'll be without for about 48 hours. How do you spend the time?
In a perfect world I would sail my yacht to the far corners of the ocean and deposit the damn computer into Davey Jones' locker. The rest of the trip Peter and I would sip Margaritas (on the rocks) and continue arguing over child rearing and who is more awesome.
"You're so awesome."
"No. You are..." *grin*
"You are!" *giggle*
"YOU."
"YOU ARE!!!!!"
finis
SO! How did you like my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY entry??? I'd offer to interview you, but I ask really boring questions. But hey, you can ask me to interview you anyway if ya really want and I'll do my best.
7:43 AM - Thursday, May. 19, 2005
Recent entries:
wertw ertwert - Thursday, Jul. 10, 2008
some ditty - Thursday, Mar. 08, 2007
sippy sippy - Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007
yah yah - Saturday, Feb. 17, 2007
woo woowww - Monday, Feb. 12, 2007
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