Yeah. I hopped a plane Wednesday morning to Kentucky to be with my Father. I haven't heard from this man for nine years and he called me on Sunday to let me know that he has cancer.
I really started to feel like I was going to lose my mind. I JUST got him back and now he is sick?
I had off last week for vacation and decided I wasn't going to sit around and do nothing. I scrounged my resources and got a flight.
I'm safe and have met my Dad again.
It feels really weird, but I'm hoping that I'll either get used to it feeling strange, or it will be drowned out by the love and admiration I used to feel for him. The strongest, funniest, most OBNOXIOUS man I've ever known - My Pop.
I'm truly thinking love will conquer.
I've been wondering why I have been so unlucky with relationships and then it hit me. My father was the first man to ever break my heart. I think he's come back to right the wrong so I can move on.
Yeah, it does sound pitiful to admit I had a daddie issue, but when your Dad just up and leaves with NO explanation, it just SUCKS.
Tonight he told me he was proud of me and that he was glad to see I hadn't taken after him. I didn't know what to say.
He admitted to me that he had a drug problem and that he thought leaving us was the best thing to do. He didn't want my brother and I to be like him. He wanted us to have a better life and he thought that if he stayed around, he'd drag his family down with him.
Not what you'd call MY idea of an ideal plan of action, but that's okay. He's in my life again and this time it's serious.
I'm glad I went to Kentucky to visit him in person. I hope my kids will do the same for me. I hope my Dad understands how much I need him. I've missed him so much.
11:38 AM - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004
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